As Netflix renews the highly acclaimed thriller series, You, for a 4th season, it opens up a dialogue on how damaging stalking can be. The series presents the harrowing ordeal of stalking victims in hair-raising details, with kidnapping, violence and even murder. While in real life, stalkers thankfully don’t often resort to unleashing the extent of extreme horrors Joe Goldberg does in the show, it is still an incredibly distressing experience to go through.
It is commonly seen that spurned lovers and jilted exes form a large majority of stalkers, and they pose major threats to the safety, well being of the victim. They are intimately acquainted with the victim’s life, which makes it easy to execute their plan. These stalkers are mostly aware that the end goal is not likely to be acceptance, thus they carry high risks of violence, assault and trauma, resulting in grievous emotional and physical suffering, and worse. While contacting the police is the most obvious step, it is often not enough, as long as the stalker is loose. If you are being stalked, here are a number of little extra steps you can take, along with seeking legal help, for your personal safety.
Mix Up Your Routine
Your stalker’s awareness of your routine is the primary tool in their hand, and thus, to dodge them, it is a good idea to keep changing your habits on a day to day basis. Take a different route for your morning run, change your grocery shopping or laundry days, explore shops and restaurants other than your regular ones. Check with your work if you can be allotted on changing schedules because work schedules are often the most used opportunity for stalking. Mixing up your routine takes away the predictability and will throw them off their set plans, for a bit at least and thus, making it hard to track you.
Invest In Home Security
There is a high risk that your stalker can break into your house when you are out, or worse, when you are home! It is high time you invest in a good quality home security system, that covers all your major entry points and not only sets off alarms but also alerts the authorities immediately in case of any break-ins. Check your window locks, ventilators, basement or attic entryways for any possible breach in security and get them fixed immediately. It is a good idea to set up recording cameras, in case your stalker does decide to come around. The security footage can also be useful for the police, if it ever comes to that.
Be Aware Of Your Surroundings
Do not be paranoid, but trust your gut feelings. Do a quick check of your surroundings before getting out of or entering your house or any place you go. If you feel like something is off, better walk a round, Always park your car in well lit areas, preferably near a camera and take a photo of the exact location, so that you do not have to walk around a parking garage looking for your car. Avoid poorly lit or empty roads and instead stick to busier and well-lit areas and routes for your safety. If you ever find yourself in the possibility of being in a deserted area, try to get someone to accompany you to a place of safety.
Avoid Oversharing On Social Media
Your social media is an excellent way to track your location, movement and plans at any given time. Stop posting your current location, workplace, home area, as well as future plans. Make sure any photos you share do not inadvertently contain such information either. Lock your social media account and set your post privacy to ensure anyone outside your approved friends and followers can view them. While at it, trim down your friends and followers to remove any unknown accounts and keep only those you know and trust. If you think your stalker might have access to your social media, you might deactivate your current accounts and open a new one without using your actual name. If needed get off social media and drop off the grid altogether.
Become Hard To Find
While it might not be as easy, but making yourself hard to find can be highly effective in throwing your stalker off your scent. Look into getting a transfer or a new job that offers a chance at relocation. If not, at least consider changing your address, and inform only with trusted people, who wouldn’t share the information. You might even consider changing your name, as a precaution, making it much harder to trace it back to you. If you do so, make sure your new name is not connected, in any way, to your old name, family or things that hold sentimental value, as it is easier to figure out the clues.
Being a victim of stalking is a deeply unsettling experience, but terrorising you is the goal. Thus, instead of letting that happen, you must keep your calm, and devise effective ways to handle the situation.
